Eyes are distracting. You see too much. You don’t see enough.
stared at these for half an hour straight
i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5”3’ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
jim fucking carrey
jim fucking carrey
I love Jim Carrey. I once met him in a 7/11, and I was getting a soda, I turned and saw it was him, and he saw I was going for a Doctor Pepper, so he said “Oh did you want one of these”, to which I stuttered out a yes and he grabbed all of them and said “too bad” and brought them up to the front. Then he bought his stuff and left the sodas there, and left. Almost immediately after, he ran back in and began putting the sodas back and paid for mine.This is what happens when Candians are let lose and try to prank people
so there’s a pigeon i used to pass by in my old neighborhood all the time and he was really fat because people would just toss him food and literally he sat in the middle of the sidewalk and people would just step over him, he wouldn’t even flinch. seriously you could sit down next to him and just feed him and he would be chill.
he was there every day and all us locals would affectionately refer to him as ‘lard-ass’
"okay class who wants to present first"
THEY DELETED THE LILO & STITCH SANDWICH STACKER GAME FROM THE DISNEY WEBSITE
Recently Kaige told us he wishes he could be both a boy and a girl because he likes playing princesses as much as ninjas and he doesn’t want to get made fun of. So we bought him a tutu and gave him a makeover. Meet the new and improved Kaige. If you have a problem with it please keep it to yourself and kindly stay out of his life. Which would be a shame because as you can see he’s freakin’ awesome! #letmebeme #mumblr #stopbullying
WHAT A FUCKING RAD KID WITH RAD HAIR
CAN I BE KAIGE
KAIGE IS ACTUALLY AMAZING
Kaige is my new hero
things literally everyone, regardless of gender, looks good in:
- lacy lingerie